Tourniquet a songfic
by Kikiwatchi
Summary: A Kikyou songfic. Her thoughts on Inu and Kagome, and her past and present. Yes, i stink at summeries. Please review!


**Hello! This is a Kikyo songfic about general thoughts, and questions ... not exactly sure what part of the series. Just a random thought that came into my head. Ummm... Warning? Whenever I italicized things, or put multiple periods, they disappeared on (That was a long time ago though-maybe they fixed it?) Second warning- this is really odd for me, I never write like this. I wrote this two months after being banned from soda/tea/coffee for a while, so this is probably caffeine withdrawal. Oh well. shrugs ACK!! I ramble on... ok, just read, flame or just tell me something, JUST PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: No, Kikyo isn't mine, and the whole shishkabob belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, while Tourniquet belongs to the awesome artist Evanescence**

**Oh! Just a heads up: You should pay attention to past/presence tense, or it'll get confusing (more so than it is...)**

**Tourniquet**

_I tried to kill the pain  
but only brought more  
...so much more_

I tried to ignore the thought of his face, twisted in his desire for the jewel,

The rake of his claws against my skin, and how he stole the cursed tama

That was not him

But I don't like these pity-filled glances either

They are not him

_I lay dying and I'm pouring_

_crimson regret and betrayal  
_

I remember as I laid there, and then got up, ignoring the lethal pain

I had only one last goal in my fading life

I recall the emotions, of my confusion, my hurt... my anger

Of these emotions, I can only truly understand the latter

__

_I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming  
_

I know the pain in the memory...

How I begged fate that I would be with him

How I call upon my soul skimmers, to fetch another spirit

I am beginning to feel that pain again

____

_am I too lost to be saved  
am I too lost?  
_

I see a soul skimmer, with a luminous, glowing soul

I raise one pale hand, and accept it

The question that nags at me is an old one;

Should I give up? Should I refuse the essence of the innocents?

Are there worse things than purgatory?

_do you remember me  
lost for so long  
_

I postpone my contemplation, and instead look back

His face, after seeing me 'alive'

How naïve I was, thinking that he killed me

Now he has replaced me

_will you be on the other side  
or will you forget me_

__

Will he still die for me, I wonder

Am I still the first, and only love?

I do not fool myself into believing that

He has that imitation now

I am forgotten, history

__

_I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming  
_

_  
_And yet I died with him, or so I thought

I asked fate to kill me...

so we would meet in the afterlife

_am I too lost to be saved  
am I too lost?_

__

I do not let the curious soul thieves see my thoughts,

controlling what emotion I let appear on my solemn face

They can see it, if I am not careful

my passion... fury... loneliness

__

_I want to die_

_  
_

I'm not certain if I can maintain this earth-bound hell_  
_Should I give up on my revenge?

Should I give my hanyou to that replica?

Should I give in to the grave?

_  
  
my wounds cry for the grave  
my soul cries for deliverance  
_

I will not give up.

Not Yet

I will extract my payback on the bandit

I will fulfill my deal with fate

I will die..

And bring him with me

__

_will I be denied _

__

But will my reincarnation try to stop me?

Can I accomplish my last task

__

_Christ, tourniquet  
_

When I kill him, will it stop this angry flow of hatred,

like a tourniquet to a wound?

_--------------_

My suicide

_--------------_

_End_

Well... tell me what you think!

**Reviews are VERY appreciated, **

**and flames will be considered/ fed to my cat.**

...And now I realize she's a little OOC, at least the way I see it.

(A/N) That's how me and a friend refer to them, and since I can't remember the Japanese term, and got tired of using 'soul skimmer', that's what I wrote-I still think they're just radioactive worms.


End file.
